Twitter just got a huge round of funding, has celebrities in the hundreds using it (Rich Rodriguez, Pete Carrol, and Charlie Villanueva tweeting during halftime no less) , and has a user base growing at nearly 25% month over month. It’s become politicians new best friend and has made headlines in every way imaginable over the past couple of months.
While it has become “all the rage”, an ominous sign for the popular startup looms:
Ryan Meeker has joined.
Known for arriving at parties right as they wrap up, hooking onto a television show in it’s last season, and picking stocks before they crash, Meeker’s foray onto Twitter has a lot of people worried on the viability of Twitter going forward.
“Shit, Meeker is on Twitter now?” asked long time friend and fellow co-worker Dan Cronin. “I was thinking of joining, but now it just seems like a lost cause.”
When asked what exactly this meant, Cronin replied with ” Dude, in 6th grade I got a bunch of Stussy and No Fear shirts for Christmas. I am thinking life is good you know? 2 months later, Meeker shows up wearing them. It was paradise lost for those companies the moment his mom dropped him off with a lunch box and gave him her trademark big sloppy kiss.”
In Meeker’s defense, his decision to join was not really his. In fact his employer asked him to join as a broader social media marketing effort.
“I would have never joined on my own and hate the fact that they thought of me for something like this. I am still trying to figure out how Friendster works,” said a flustered Meeker.
Technology analyst, Michael Arrington of Techcrunch, chimed in why this was such a momentous sign for Twitter.
“Meeker has shown over the years that he is the bell weather of when something goes from cool to past its prime. In the months after he joined myspace, millions of fly over state moms, garbage garage bands, and high school teeny boppers joined…. If I was Twitter I would start looking at acquisition partners asap. I find the fact he bought a Sega Dreamcast to be very telling.”
Meeker is quick to point out that his joining of Myspace was again not by his own doing, and in fact forced by his friends who wanted to satirize him for being what many consider “that guy”.
“I didn’t want to join Myspace. I was and still am trying to make it work with Friendster. However I do like the fact I can play Fountain of Wayne’s “Stacey’s Mom” on my page although it loads really slow on my Dell laptop but that might just be the AOL connection.”
Meeker’s reputation extends beyond the consumer world as well.
“I was very happy with my campaign and how we were doing until I caught wind that we had received an unsolicited endorsement from a Ryan Meeker,” recalls Hilary Clinton. “My campaign advisor tried to buy him off to change his endorsement, but he was steadfast that he “doesn’t endorse losers.”
Less than 24 hours after joining Twitter, Meeker is not having much traction on Twitter with only one Tweet and three followers.
” What the hell is this and why do people give a F**%?”, said a combative Meeker when reached for comment.
“The technology is nothing special nor is the functionality. Just because Shaq and Asthon Kutcher are using it, doesn’t mean it’s second coming of instant messaging, email, or even Friendster. I feel like this is all an elaborate episode of Punked or something. Hasn’t Kazaam and Dude, Where’s My Car taught us anything?”
Time will tell if Meeker’s emergence to the Twitter world has any ill effects on the company’s growth. However given his lack of enthusiasm around Twitter and the various “lame” acronyms and uses for it, its possible that Meeker may drop his usage of the technology altogether.
“I got better things to do than finding out what RT and OH and all that crap means. I am getting really into online poker and Sudoku”.
